Dad, working 50-60 hours a week, tells expecting stay-at-home mom that he doesn't feel supported because she doesn't cook for him: 'I have been very sick, and I’ve been struggling to cook because of the smells.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 1, 2026 8:00 PM EST

They both have room to give each other some grace.

The question of whether it's harder to be a stay-at-home parent or to work full-time has long been debated. When you're a stay-at-home parent to little kids, you're never off the clock. You always have to supervise your kids and make sure they aren't getting into anything dangerous. Your days are filled with repetitive tasks that you're rarely thanked for. Babies aren't going to thank you for doing the laundry, cleaning the house, and preparing their meals. You don't get any PTO or sick days. You still have to do the job of being a full-time parent even if you're sick and miserable. 

Working for a living is no walk in the park either, especially when you're working 50 or 60 hours a week. You're often working for a boss who does not care a lick that you have a new baby at home that you'd rather be spending time with. Your value has nothing to do with who you are as a person or the close, loving relationships you cultivate in your life. Your value is almost entirely based on how much money you can make for your boss. At work, you are 100% dispensable in every possible way. If you passed away tomorrow, your job would be posted before you were even in the ground. You also have to deal with the pressure of being a provider for your family, because if you weren't working, your spouse and your children would suffer.

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  • A woman laying on a couch with her head in a basket
    via Monika Grabkowska (Unsplash+)

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  • The parents in this story are both feeling the pressure of their roles. The stay-at-home mom is struggling with her health while expecting her second baby, and it's making certain tasks difficult to accomplish. The working dad is frustrated that she's not cooking and that she hasn't found time to pick up his prescription at the pharmacy. 

  • My husband says he doesn’t feel supported

    I am a stay at home mom to an 18 month old and my husband works A LOT of hours. He is blue collar and works probably 50-60 hours a week give or take. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant with our second. It is an IVF pregnancy that
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • I worked very hard for (as I also did with our daughter). I have been very sick and having terrible food aversions, nausea, and fatigue. I've been struggling to cook because of the smells and I have had him pick up something for dinner almost every night.
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
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  • Last night he came home very irritated there was no food (there were leftovers to heat up) We started arguing and it escalated. He was also mad I didn't pick up his prescription from the pharmacy. He claimed that he can't
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • get me to do anything and he doesn't feel supported by me. He said he works so many hours and needs my help with certain things. To me it feels like he's throwing a bratty fit because I can't do as much for him right now. I keep our
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • whole house running smoothly, take care of our daughter, and take care of him ALOT. The only reason I couldn't get to the pharmacy was because I had a doctor appointment followed by bloodwork and then I had to pick up our daughter and it was too late. I'm so frustrated with him and
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • I feel like it's disgusting to get mad at your pregnant wife for not doing enough for you.
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • Three quarter length of handsome bearded working in vest holding his safety helmet and going back to his workplace underground garage in construction process interior
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  • Clama_lama_ding_dong Something I really stressed to my husband a lot was that while I was pregnant.I was also doing extra. When I washed the dishes, I was washing the dishes and growing a human. Taking care of our toddler, and growing a human. Vacuuming amd growing a human. Even when im sleeping, or apparently doing nothing, IM STILL GROWING A WHOLE ENTIRE PERSON WITH MY BODY. On the flip side id also tell him. That I know he works a lot, hes tired, worn out. I appreciate how he takes care of ou
    via u/Clama_lama_ding_dong
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 That is what I said to him. This is not forever. I just need a little bit of grace right now. I know that it's a pain to pick up food, but I am making sure that the baby is. always fed and I am eating what I can whether that be saltines or whatever. He only needs to take care of himself. And our house is stocked with food he could easily make something. I always cooked before this and I will continue again, but right now I am in a vulnerable place and I need a little bit of gr
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • TooManyInterests30 The thought of even looking at food in my first trimester would make me puke. I think your response was great. He is acting like an entitled little boy.
    via u/TooManyInterests30
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 That's the thing is even doing crockpot dump meals when the house stinks I'm so sick. I pushed through and cooked taco meat a couple days ago and it was HORRIFYING.
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • TooManyInterests30 Ugh. You're a trooper. Can you handle the smell of coffee? It was one of the smells that wasn't making me nauseous so I would carry a bag of ground coffee everywhere and everytime there was a strong smell I would just put my nose in my coffee bag. Any smell would work for the matter.
    via u/TooManyInterests30
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 That's a really good idea. I've been struggling a little bit with coffee, but maybe if I found a candle or something that I could stomach.
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • Electrical_Beyond998 I see both sides. My husband works 8am until 9-10pm every night (car business). I don't know how he would be able to pick up a prescription unless it was on a Sunday, his day off. Especially if the prescription is time sensitive like insulin or something. Is there a 24 hour pharmacy he could use? We have one the next town over, he would have to pass through our town, driving by our house to get into the other town, but it's there. As for the rest though... he can cook. He ca
    via u/Electrical_Beyond998
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 Absolutely. And he gets off around six so he could swing through Walmart and get it and it's only been ready since Sunday. He has extra of this medication that he needs. It's not like he doesn't have any. The reason I couldn't go Monday or yesterday is because Monday I took our daughter swimming and then I got a migraine with aura where I couldn't see and then I had a doctor appointment in the afternoon. Yesterday I had an emergency ultrasound because | had been spotting a lit
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • Electrical_Beyond998 Yeah he could get it. I get migraines too, I am so useless when I do. Does he get them? | feel like unless someone knows what they're like they cannot understand how debilitating they can be.
    via u/Electrical_Beyond998
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 He gets migraines but not with the aura like that. It's so stressful to get them too because I have my daughter thankfully I was holding her for a nap when I had it so I could just chill.
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • luluballoon I totally feel this. I only have 1. child through IVF and while I was still on the progesterone, I was so exhausted and nauseated. I don't know how I functioned. I think it's fair that when you say you weren't able to pick up something, that you're believed. I think it's also fair that in his mind you have "all day" to do a task that takes 10 minutes. What are your biggest stressors? Can you get groceries delivered? I know there's a cost but if he's picking up food every day that wil
    via u/luluballoon
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 He is not like this all the time, and up until this point he really hasn't said anything about me not doing as much as I normally do. Something to know about me also is I am such a busy person. I'm always running around. I'm always getting things done. typically. This is not my norm at all, and I think that's partly why I haven't outsourced a lot of things yet because typically I never stop moving. I'm just a busy person by nature. I've never had this issue before. I've lacked
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • Ok_Introduction9466 DoorDash, Ubereats, Grubhub, instacart, Postmates, etc. Those services are for things like this. Take a little off your plate. I also have a very hard time feeling sympathy for grown men who complain about dinner not being made for them. If he was single and had to work those same hours would he starve?
    via u/Ok_Introduction9466
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 I keep thinking this as well!!
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • nbrown7384 Just puke on him next time.
    via u/nbrown7384
  • OP Crazy_chick2027
    via u/Crazy_chick2027
  • RelevantAd6063 even if you weren't pregnant that's ridiculous to get mad that there are leftovers for dinner? what? i'm very over men complaining about working 50-60 hours a week when sahms are out here working 168 hours every single week. and you're growing a baby? you sound very accommodating. he needs to get ahold of himself.
    via u/RelevantAd6063
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 I love this take. Our daughter has been an extremely difficult sleeper and I have taken the brunt of that completely because he works so much. I've made so many sacrifices to try and accommodate him. I don't even get a 10 minute ride home from work as a break. Even when I'm sleeping, it's not a break so yes, right now I expect him to at least take care of himself while I'm taking care of me the baby and my belly and the majority of tasks for our 18 month old daughter.
    via u/Crazy_chick2027

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working hard relationship marriage stay at home dad argument support pharmacy mom parents
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